Where is everyone?

ScHoolboy Z said:
So after 25 years of marriage my dad informed my mother he was leaving her because he didn't love her anymore and wants a divorce.

Just like that. 25 years gone.
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Oh man that's brutal. Really sorry to hear that.

I don't know what perspective I can offer other than what you'd expect it to be: 25 years is a long GD time. Both of you change. Your interests, your priorities, everything. I think there are times in every long marriage when it feels like neither of those two people who stood up and took those vows all those years ago even exists anymore.

The great shared enterprise of raising children together can paper over that somewhat. For many years you're both focused on the kids, working together for a goal larger than yourselves. But eventually that's mostly done, and it's easy to see how once it's back to being just the two of you sitting there looking at each other, that feeling of "This is not the person I married anymore, and I'm not the person who married her either" could creep in. I hope like hell it doesn't happen to us, but there are no guarantees.

I don't say this to make excuses for your father, with whom I'm sure you're deservedly livid. Just because something's understandable doesn't mean it's excusable.
 
Damn Z. That's a tough spot, I'm sure. I don't know what more you can do than be there to listen when she needs to talk and support her as much as you can.
 
ScHoolboy Z said:
Well good news. My dad has gotten his head out of his ass and is coming back home
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Great news. Fingers crossed for your family.

I know a couple who went through a crisis. He left,he said he didn't love her anymore, pretty sure he cheated. Then he came back. It took a year for them to get back to what felt like normal but that was ten years ago. It can work.
 
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